• During this time young people need to be reminded about everything you have told them before. They need reminding about how their body developed in the womb, as babies and since - including puberty changes and what happens next. You will have touched on these things all the way through their babyhood and childhood, taking opportunities to mention things about their body and any healthcare tests or treatments they have had. Now is the time to make sure that they really understand everything you’ve said before – and more.
  • Many parents can be nervous when talking about puberty and relationships, different body development and what it means, and are unsure what response they might get. Don’t be surprised if your child doesn’t react as you expected. Eg, they might just say ‘Yeah, OK… and please stop talking to me about sex…’
  • They need the name - or names – used for their condition or development - both by the medical profession and other groups. Make sure you check their knowledge by talking again and again about it and understand emotional impact on them. You can say: ‘ that’s a lot to take in, I am here for you if you want to talk or if you have any questions’.
  • Even if you KNOW you have explained things to your child, they may not have taken it all in. You really need to check that they understand about their body.
  • Talk about questions and worries eg changes to the body, puberty, wellbeing, relationships, concepts of normal/abnormal, sexuality, friends, fertility. Tell them that most young people worry about an aspects of their body, particularly as it changes at puberty. Pubertal changes can take a long time from start to finish. If their puberty id is helped by medicines such as hormones, make sure they understand how that works and what might happen if their medicines are not at the correct level – or if they don’t take them.
  • If your child says (or nods) ‘yes I remember’ or ‘yes I understand’, find a gentle way to go over the same information again, just in case. Remember as parents we may also have said/nodded to doctors ‘yes we understand’ when really it was still very confusing …
  • Let them know that sex is a range of sexual acts, feelings and thoughts to be enjoyed and often shared. The word ‘Sex’ is sometimes used as a shorthand for penetrative sexual intercourse but adult sexual life has the potential to be so much wider than that.
  • Discuss the change that health professionals call ‘transition’ to adult services and their being in charge of their own health care. Parents will be outside of consultations for support but not part of hospital discussions.