An information and support resource for families with children, teens and young adults who have a DSD
A parent's comment on Vaginal Hypoplasia:
We all want our children to experience everything that is good in life, including love and physical intimacy. It is healthy for our teens to think about relationships to learn details about differences in her body that might mean they have to do some preparation for sexual activity. Kudos to fellow parents for helping our kids through this process!
It is very important to reassure our girls that they are healthy and attractive when they are forming their self-image during adolescence, when they desperately want to be like everyone else. Talking to them about loving relationships and constantly letting them know that you love and respect them helps them develop good self-esteem. Parents' feelings about their daughter's vagina can be tricky. On one hand, we want our daughters to feel "complete" and lovable, but on the other hand, we also want to protect them from emotional and physical hurt. Sometimes we may feel as though getting the vagina stuff "over with" will save our daughters from distress when they are older. Enlarging the vagina is really about sex and relationships, which a 15 year old may not feel ready to start thinking about. A year or two can make a big difference in a girl's emotional maturity at this age.
There is no right time to start the process of enlarging the vagina, but it is generally most successful when a girl is motivated herself to get started. Some young women aren't ready until they are involved in a relationship; some girls choose to dilate before they start college. It is a very individual decision, and there are also a few who are perfectly happy without enlarging the vagina. Most doctors who take care of girls with DSD recommend starting with the least invasive method first, regardless of the size of the vagina to start with. The vast majority of women are able to avoid surgery by dilating their own vaginas. Adult women have used many types of dilators including ones prescribed by doctors and others that are available for sale to anyone, including vibrators. Most are stiff and can be uncomfortable for someone getting started. To support my CAIS daughter, I ordered a set of flexible silicone dilators that someone told me about in the fall which seem pretty user-friendly. You can see them at pureromance.com in the vaginal health section.
It has been really helpful for my daughter to discuss dilation with other young women and share the life experiences of some of the other girls who have gone through it.